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Monday, May 2, 2011

A Dead Man in Islamabad: suggestions for a churlish pub quiz.

Before drinking single malt and waving the flag, before we let triumphalism so flood our neo-cortices that rational thought becomes not merely impossible, but perverse, have a go at answering this simple quiz:

1. Explain in sound-bite length the answer to this: So we can stop the wars now, right? If not, why not?

2. Demonstrate (by logic or magic) that the 5,885 total fatalities borne by coalition troops in said wars in any way, directly or indirectly, brought about the death of OBL. Then explain your proof to one of thousands who's lost his legs or eyes in said wars.

3. Compute the efficacy of our violent actions in Pakistan, given this ratio: 2000 killed (most collaterally) by predator drones to 1 by bullet. Then factor in cost-to-taxpayer of said drones.

4. Argue that justice has been served by execution rather than capture, interrogation and trial. Be sure to define your use of the term 'justice'.

5. Compile and present what proof you have ever personally seen (rather than been told) that OBL is guilty of instigating the 9-11 attacks. Extra points for photos/videos. Critically analyse the interest positions of the sources of the evidence.

6. Perform a cost/benefit analysis on the funding and training US gave OBL to resist the Soviet occupation of Afghanistan in the 1980's, in terms of the skills OBL has used to elude execution/capture for the past ten years.

7. True or false: The Taliban have never been more effective than they are now and they appear to be much, much larger than al-Qaida (hint--source: American Intelligence,  BBC News).

8. Calculate, in units of millions of votes,  how this will affect President Obama's re-election chances.

9. Estimate the impact of winding up two large-scale military operations upon the looming US budget deficit.

10. Explain to a clever 12-year-old how creating a martyr out of someone (who has long since ceased to be anything other than a figurehead) is anything but a propaganda win and recruitment boost for Islamic militancy as promulgated by the Taliban, Al-Qaeda, etc.

Pass your completed sheet to the MC. Do not offer him violence. He is only the messenger.

Winner gets a set of steak knives.

Let's party!!!

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