Odd Job Man

Whether in Church or in Chapel, whether Minister or Chaplain, there is no disguising the fact--this is an odd job.

How odd? I've poured my heart and soul into people for whom I now don't exist. I've publicly honored those who've later talked smack about me. And then, there's people I barely know who speak of me in honorific, reverential tones! 

Wherefore odd? For some I do too much, for others far too little. The same preaching that inspires and consoles someone, angers another to furious rage, and another to casual indifference. The same material that was boring to one was massively impactful to another. You get praised for being caring and gracious, and also condemned for being aloof and detached.

Whither odd? Grudgingly paid a professional wage, and yet expected to project humble poverty. Have some nice things and you're materialistic. If you don't have nice things, you must be some kind of self-defeated schlub. People expect your personal time, money, and resources, but set healthy boundaries to care for your mental health and your families, and you're selfish.

Whence odd? Everything you say and do can be used against you by anyone disgruntled, annoyed, petty, or even just plain bored. Every mistake proves you're unqualified, but victories are taken in stride because they're expected, and hey--that's what you're paid for. Your personal life, hobbies, interests, friendships, relationships, and family are continually monitored for moral lapses. After all, you're paid to model virtue!

Why so odd? Amateurs are fully confident they could do a better job and kibbutz from the sidelines. Everyone has an opinion about religion, no matter how little they've thought about it, let alone studied it. I'd never assume I knew better than, say, my dentist, how to do his job.

It's ODD... and yet there's so much fulfillment in precious moments to which nothing in the rest of my life can compare. It's challenging, heartbreaking, and can be discouraging, but it's also fulfilling, inspiring, and awesomely life-changing.  It can be brutal, but it can also be beautiful. 

Over half of clergy battle depression and 85% of seminary graduates to enter ministry will leave ministry within the first 5 years. Who'd stick with this?

So here's my hypothesis: the only reason I wanted to do this odd job, and keep doing this odd job, is that it must a perfect fit--I must be odd too. 

I don't have to do this., I GET to do it. My pathology is also my profession.